Welcome peoples of my Kingdom. Gather around, gather around. It has been some time since we all had the opportunity to bask in my glory like this but make yourselves comfortable as I have just received the newest copy of my autobiography from XSEED Games. Let us revisit my heroic tales of world domination within the pages that have been titled Little King’s Story on something they call the Pea Sea. Not entirely sure what that is about… but by my royal decree! It matters not.
I remember it like yesterday. It all started out one day in a run down shack with just shy of nothing to my or my kingdom’s name. I had just been coronated and couldn't have been happier even if I was only King of a few cows, three loyal advisors, a dozen lazy citizens that danced and lazied around everyday without a care in the world. Making things sound even worse there wasn’t even a single penny in the treasury! It was clear that it was time for change.
Taking these lazy people along wasn’t easy as they couldn't really do anything. It wasn’t long however before I discovered that if I ordered them forward that they could dig up treasures from holes in the ground. These treasures not only filled the treasury but could be traded for money in order to commission new facilities and homes for others to join the future great kingdom.
Once the treasury’s coffers started to fill it was time to start building. It wasn’t long before both farm and guardhouses were commissioned and these lazy kingdom dwellers were given training, jobs, and responsibilities in order to give back to the country that protected them. Once the basics were established, Lumberjacks, Hunters, Merchants, and Carpenters would also soon be roaming the town in order to help conquer and civilize the surrounding lands from the beasts that would prevent my peoples from sleeping well at night. With the kingdom's people now having skill sets, it was time to move out further into the wild lands in order to defeat those who would challenge my reign either by calling themselves king or simply needing to be taught a lesson in order to not eat my subjects.
Expansion my loyal subjects requires two things. Lands to build upon and money. While the jobless could indeed dig up treasure, it came down to the farmers with their knowledge of the ground and experience with their tools to open up new opportunities that could be dug up. This was not without peril as monsters could be found both above the ground and underneath it. Making sure to have my loyal guard ever by my side, using the principles that I discovered with the jobless, I ordered my guards forwards in order to dispatch the enemy that would otherwise harm my farmers. Depending upon the situation the farmers could also chip in for a few blows against the enemy as their tools were useful for more than the ground.
Exploring these lands were not easy and people, including myself, could be injured in the process. Enemies both large and miniscule in size could injure us if I wasn’t careful on how I ordered my subjects about. I could indeed send my guard in one at a time or send them all by repeatedly, what’s this? Mashing the “A” button? What is this nonsense!? I clearly yelled at them to charge forward and recalled them with… the “B” button? Who wrote this iteration of my autobiography? I want them fired and a new one written!
*clears throat* Now where was I…? Ah yes! Issuing orders in combat was not the easiest and while I could send my peoples one at a time or charging after one another, due to the sound of combat if I ordered even a single one back they all came back. This took some time in order to get used to but eventually it worked within my favor as I would have the guard rush out to meet the evil mushrooms or demon cows and have them pull back to a safe range before issuing the Hunters to open fire with their bows.
If any of us were injured however there were two ways in order for us to heal up. The first and possibly the easiest would be to head home and sleep it off. While effective this was clearly a waste of time especially when there were more treasures to uncover and lands to conquer. With this in mind hot springs could be uncovered by the farmers in order to give a quick break that could also heal any wounds sustained. Unlike sleeping it off these springs themselves needed time to recuperate afterwards so they weren’t a solution for the constant injuries that could be sustained if I wasn’t careful with my orders.
We had some great battles and people did die. Conquering the Giant Demon Cow, the Enormous Fungus, the Gargantuan Toad, and finally the Mountainous Oni King who blatantly declared that this was HIS land. Each expansion was not without peril and the families of those that perished were well compensated for with the riches that we brought back with us. Our total population could grow back as more people moved into the newer residences that were commissioned but this could take some time. Once this was all over however six more came into the picture each declaring themselves King. World Domination was far from over.
We’ve all been sitting here for long enough today. Everyone rise, stretch out your legs, and head on to your duties and we will resume this later as I contemplate what to do about the writers of this autobiography. The adventure was rough in the beginning while figuring out exactly how to manage my resources and my peoples but never was it frustrating. Ordering the people around could take some getting used to but once formations and sorting by rank was possible everything went along smoothly. It really was a beautiful experience and I’m glad to have relived it. What is this Wee they speak of though? Between that, the Pea Sea, and this “A” and “B” nonsense there were will a lot to talk about for the second printing.
XSEED Games, Marvelous USA, Inc.
Article by Pierre-Yves